During her How to be an adult segment on RTÉ 2FM, Louise McSharry asked author and writer Edel Coffey to walk listeners through the process of making a new friend.
Noting that the theme of friendship was a popular request for the weekly segment, Louise asked Edel why people were so fascinated by this particular type of relationship.
“We talk about romances all the time: we talk about meeting someone, how to end a relationship, how to find a relationship, how to take a relationship to the next level. We rarely talk about friendships, and they are such a one. much of our emotional well-being and sometimes have a negative impact. “
With female friendships almost “fetishized” in pop culture, Louise suggests that many people can feel lonely if they don’t have a Taylor Swift-worthy girl squad or a singular best friend who looks like a sister.
For those who haven’t yet made those deep bonds or who are trying to make new friends as adults, Edel says it will be a dating-like process. And just like dating, making friends will be a delicate and time-consuming process.
Having moved from Dublin to Galway herself a few years ago, the author admits that she had to go to great lengths to forge new relationships, with plenty of hiccups along the way.
“If you meet someone and you’re a little obsessed with them, they think ‘hmmm, maybe not’,” Edel laughs.
“I started actively joining things that I never dreamed of joining before. I went to a night class and joined a bunch of book clubs – I joined four book clubs and I never read the books, obviously. “
In addition to making an effort to chat with people, Edel and Louise agree that making friends is about pushing yourself to be a little vulnerable and a little outspoken.
While Edel admits going to numerous book launches on her own before finally landing on a new crowd of friends, Louise recounts how she took the daring to give her number to her colleagues and suggest that they do so. go have a drink. In both cases, their efforts paid off.
However, they both agreed that patience is the key to forming friendships and being careful not to overdo it with new people.
Although, in saying this, big gestures sometimes pay off, as Edel discovered when she wrote a new companion a poem for her birthday …
“Fortunately, she didn’t panic and report me to the police,” she laughed. “She actually became my friend and we are still very good friends.”
For more on how to make – and end friends – re-listen to Lousie McSharry on RTÉ 2FM here.